So Stoked!!!...

I really came into my own with the diabetic regimen this week. I cooked two full meals for the family: chicken stir fry with sticky rice, and swedish meatballs with homemade mashed potatoes, and I didn't eat a single bite. I also went to restaurants on a couple of occasions and only had a soda. If you had asked me in December, I would have thought that was utterly impossible...

It was a sensational day, really. I lost 5.8 pounds last week, for a total of 21.8. That sounds like a really substantive number, like something accomplished. I am very thankful that the whole HMR thing is working... Then tonight I got to announce the Minarets boys basketball games, and both teams won handily, with Ben scoring ten. It was a great day all around.

It is good to know that you can have great days that don't involve either Chipotle or Panda Express... Frankly, that would have struck me as pure blasphemy even a few weeks ago...

I feel like I have been asleep at the switch for the last 15 years or so. I've missed out on a lot by burying all my concerns in food... I am so very thankful for the wake up call that is a diabetes diagnosis. Sounds crazy, but this might just be one of the best, most transformational things that has ever happened to me... I even had two people this week describe this whole process as "inspirational!" If that is you though, you may want to check yourself, because if me losing weight strikes you as something meaningful, you are probably asleep and missing your life too...

The ad for the superintendency of Chawanakee Unified came out yesterday too... thinking and praying hard about that one...

Week Three- The Devil's Truck Stop...

Well, this week has been pretty brutal, all in all. I was able to stay on the diet all seven days, despite some major food related trials. This is essentially my third full week on HMR, and the first where I left town and hit the open road. Let's just say that HMR doesn't travel very well...

On Saturday, we took a trip down to SoCal to play paintball in the mountains between Santa Clarita and Palmdale. You could certainly debate whether it was wise to drive 8 total hours in order to play paintball for less than 5 hours, but we had a good time all the same. The brutal part was stopping at the Tejon exit at the base of the grapevine to eat on the way home. Having to stare at a sign featuring all of my key players: In-n-Out, Panda Express, Chipotle, and Del Taco was hard enough, but actually sitting in In-n-Out surrounded by shiny, happy people all blissfully eating double-doubles with grilled onions and steak burritos from Chipotle was excruciating. I dutifully ate my meal replacement entrees, unheated, in the midst of the food bacchanalia. Brutal...

Then on Sunday, I made good on Tiff's Christmas gift by taking her to the Tenaya Lodge at Yosemite for an overnight and winter spa treatment. Beautiful 4 diamond hotel- totally devoid of microwaves, however...

After church, Tiff had a nice turkey burger and sweet potato fry meal. As for me, I had a diet coke, and just tried to focus on football highlights. And then back in the room, I attempted to consume unheated HMR lasagna. Awful doesn't even begin to approximate it... It was abysmal. So bad, in fact, that as Tiff was sleeping off the effects of working the night shift the evening before, I drove back down the hill to my parents place in Oakhurst, where our kids were staying, to heat up my dinner. I know, I am just that type of romantic...

At any rate, at today's weigh in, I was down 3.4 pounds. Frankly, after the last two weeks, I expected a bit more, but in a reality check, if you made me choke down 3.4 pounds of butter, I would definitely hurl. All in all, it is pretty good- that is 16 total pounds down in 17 days on the program, but I saw today's result as somewhat lackluster.

There are other great signs of success, however. Just had to add a third handmade hole punch into the dressier black belt, beyond all of the pre-drilled holes. Furthermore, ten or so folks today also indicated they could see positive results, or asked me if I was losing weight, which felt pretty excellent. And my blood sugar last week remained within the 85-133 range, only going above 117 on two occasions, even though I drew my blood to test the glucose levels 21 times...

So we are getting there. Just stay away from the Tejon exit with the skagnasty unheated lasagna...

Terrific Early Returns! Huzzah!

I was really looking forward to my doctor's appointment today at the diabetes and endocrine specialists, because I have been fighting hard to change behavior and to stay on track throughout this week. I have been eating to the exact letter of the law in the HMR program.

Not being able to eat regular food, essentially makes you a social outcast, as nearly all things we do when people get together involve either hooking up, or food of some sort. And given that I am monogomous and happily married, that basically leaves food...

So anyway, I went back in today, met with both the physician's assistant and the behaviorist. Both had great news to share. First and foremost, I lost 5.4 pounds this week, putting me 12.4 pounds down in 10 days. I realize that is likely mostly water, but I'll take it, after struggling through the week.

Perhaps even more exciting is that my blood glucose is beginning to normalize, consistently in hovering around 115, which for me is huge growth. To that end, I no longer have to take Actos, which is one of the two diabetic meds which I am taking daily. Actos also promotes weight gain, so getting rid off it should help, doubly... And tonight, pre-dinner, my blood glucose actually registered in at 98, which is well within the normal range. A sign of better things to come...

The best part of it is that I am motivated to stay after it. This whole deal, while pretty crappy and inconvenient, is working, and just might keep me alive a little while longer... Thanks for all of the positive well-wishes from so many- that is totally inspiring too, and makes me feel beloved. You people rock! Just wait for NEXT week! ;)

HMR Early Returns and Potentially Deviant Behaviors...

So I started the whole phase 1 process exactly 8 days ago. Lots of folks have been asking about how the whole HMR thing works, so here's the breakdown- HMR is basically a diet for obese people. (Note: If people who haven't seen you since high school look at your facebook pictures and are forced to utter a totally-shocked "DAMN," then this is the program for you...) Phase I is totally medically supervised, making it pretty costly, particularly if medical insurance isn't a realistic option. Each week, you have your vitals tracked, including blood glucose levels for diabetics like me, and also meet with a behavioral counselor whose role is essentially to verify that you haven't gone completely nuts just yet.

In Phase I you can eat only the medically prescribed foods: HMR shakes, protein bars, hot cereal, chicken soup, and 14 different entrees which basically span the flavor range from pretty decent to packing popcorn peanuts in a vomit reduction sauce . Whatever you pick in phase 1, it essentially gets in your stomach and then expands like a self-inflating life raft, rendering you full. One advantage of the HMR program for obese people is that there is literally no limit on the number of items from the prescribed foods that you can eat daily. If you want to consume several life rafts each and every day, that is totally your prerogative...

After the initial heavy weight loss, or if the behaviorist believes your sanity may be slipping, you are moved forward into Phase 2. In phase 2, you get to add back fruits and veggies to round out the packing material, and then ultimately, when you have met your goals you move to the final phase. In phase 3, also called "maintenance", it is essentially like a weight-watchers calorie counting and responsible eating program.

Given that I ended 2011 at just under 3 bills, right on the border of the wonderfully descriptive BMI category of "morbidly-obese," I have a great deal of time to spend in phase 1, obviously... My goal is two fold: I need to both lose a significant amount of weight to escape the whole pathetic, self-loathing part of my life, and to lower my blood glucose sufficiently so that none of my internal organs chooses to cease function. On December 29th I weighed 297.0 pounds. In order to round out the year with friends and family, I began Phase I in earnest on New Year's Day. Three days later, on January 3rd, I weighed in at 290.0, down 7 pounds. I get it, that is water weight, likely, as I am not eating nearly the sodium intake I had previously, but get some gallon jugs handy, because that is some serious water... I weigh in again this Tuesday the 10th and am looking forward to seeing the result.

One thing I seriously miss is going through the drive through. I realize, in writing it, how twisted that sounds. Twice this week, I have gone through the drive through at McDonalds to order a large diet coke, and to look wistfully at the pictures of the other food items on the menu. I never realized I was completely addicted to fast food- until I actually found myself fondly smelling the aroma of fries drifting out the drive through window. Maybe I am going nuts...

Food culture

I never realized how ubiquitous food is in our culture and in my life in general. since opting for the medical food program, I have received a beautiful package of 6 homemade jams and jellies, and watched several bowl games with names such as the Outback Bowl, in which enormous steaks seem to be the key offensive players...

HMR food, in a word, is horrendous. You appetite is staunched because eating more of that stuff holds no excitement, whatsoever.... And not being able to drown your sorrows in food leaves you in a pretty dark place to start the new year...

The HMR Life: Day One

HOLY SMOKES! Do you realize how universal the idea of food/restaurants/eating is in American culture? Opting out of that system is more than incredibly rough...

What exactly am I going to do at the movies tomorrow? Apparently while the boys are eating popcorn, I will be gnawing on the armrest...

All of my DVR programs of Chopped, Diners Drive-Ins and Dives, Unwrapped, and Giada's holiday favorites don't help a whole lot either.

As for the HMR food products on day one, the chocolate shake was decent. The vanilla, on the other had, was unabashedly dry-heave worthy. Tomorrow we'll look for peppermint extract, diet orange soda, or anything else that will kill the taste of that stuff. I am considering adding actual vanilla, but heaven knows what that will do... The "no refrigeration required" mushroom risotto was passable, but sitting at the table while Ben was eating chicken garlic pizza and Josh was eating honey BBQ ribs had me wanting to jab the spoon in my right eye... Stay tuned...