HMR Early Returns and Potentially Deviant Behaviors...

So I started the whole phase 1 process exactly 8 days ago. Lots of folks have been asking about how the whole HMR thing works, so here's the breakdown- HMR is basically a diet for obese people. (Note: If people who haven't seen you since high school look at your facebook pictures and are forced to utter a totally-shocked "DAMN," then this is the program for you...) Phase I is totally medically supervised, making it pretty costly, particularly if medical insurance isn't a realistic option. Each week, you have your vitals tracked, including blood glucose levels for diabetics like me, and also meet with a behavioral counselor whose role is essentially to verify that you haven't gone completely nuts just yet.

In Phase I you can eat only the medically prescribed foods: HMR shakes, protein bars, hot cereal, chicken soup, and 14 different entrees which basically span the flavor range from pretty decent to packing popcorn peanuts in a vomit reduction sauce . Whatever you pick in phase 1, it essentially gets in your stomach and then expands like a self-inflating life raft, rendering you full. One advantage of the HMR program for obese people is that there is literally no limit on the number of items from the prescribed foods that you can eat daily. If you want to consume several life rafts each and every day, that is totally your prerogative...

After the initial heavy weight loss, or if the behaviorist believes your sanity may be slipping, you are moved forward into Phase 2. In phase 2, you get to add back fruits and veggies to round out the packing material, and then ultimately, when you have met your goals you move to the final phase. In phase 3, also called "maintenance", it is essentially like a weight-watchers calorie counting and responsible eating program.

Given that I ended 2011 at just under 3 bills, right on the border of the wonderfully descriptive BMI category of "morbidly-obese," I have a great deal of time to spend in phase 1, obviously... My goal is two fold: I need to both lose a significant amount of weight to escape the whole pathetic, self-loathing part of my life, and to lower my blood glucose sufficiently so that none of my internal organs chooses to cease function. On December 29th I weighed 297.0 pounds. In order to round out the year with friends and family, I began Phase I in earnest on New Year's Day. Three days later, on January 3rd, I weighed in at 290.0, down 7 pounds. I get it, that is water weight, likely, as I am not eating nearly the sodium intake I had previously, but get some gallon jugs handy, because that is some serious water... I weigh in again this Tuesday the 10th and am looking forward to seeing the result.

One thing I seriously miss is going through the drive through. I realize, in writing it, how twisted that sounds. Twice this week, I have gone through the drive through at McDonalds to order a large diet coke, and to look wistfully at the pictures of the other food items on the menu. I never realized I was completely addicted to fast food- until I actually found myself fondly smelling the aroma of fries drifting out the drive through window. Maybe I am going nuts...